#<- a recent revisit of my teenage years

[youshouldseemeinadeerstalker]

Any character can be my blorbo as long as they fit the lyrics of Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls

[bloodhailmp3]

i love how like literally everyone in 2010 - 2014 had this annoying way of speaking online like even if u were quote unquote cool u would still type in this v sincere forced quirky way that means if ur reading a post from 2012 in the present day u can usually guess what year the post was made before u check the timestamp. and now the common like online uhhh tone?? style of communication?? (sorry idk what to call it idk much abt linguistics) has shifted to being a little more detached and ironic and if someone still types in that early '10s style it comes across as what would now be considered cringe or maybe to put it more nicely just a touch too earnest and emotionally involved and like wannabe quirky

[preludicrous]

i know found family is a really common trope but the way it works in bungou stray dogs, especially with regards to the armed detective agency, really has me foaming at the mouth

like, the armed detective agency was familial from inception- a lot of found family media has a group of people coming together for work or for some other reason and slowly developing close bonds resembling a family dynamic, but the armed detective agency was quite literally created to be akin to a family unit. while circumstances brought fukuzawa and ranpo together, the armed detective agency was conceptualized and established primarily due to fukuzawa recognizing teenage ranpo's need for compassion, guidance, safety, and protection - i.e., recognizing that ranpo would need a family as he was an orphan. the ADA quite literally is created to be a family for ranpo. yes the tripartite agreement was part of it, and the crimes too complex for the police was also part of it. but ranpo needing a family, a group of people he can lean on, who are safe for him who protect him, was, in my opinion, the biggest reason for the ADA to exist

and also, during atsushi's entrance exam, dazai and fukuzawa have a conversation about atsushi's candidacy. like, yeah, atsushi has one of the most powerful and important abilities in the series, and i'm sure that must've played a part in what they decided, but dazai and fukuzawa both agree that strength is not what makes someone an agency member. atsushi's entrance exam doesn't have him showing off his tiger's claws, or his regeneration, or his deduction prowess, it's just a test of his character, a test to see if he is a safe person to bring into their family. he has the potential to be an incredible agent, and the gifts to become a powerful ability user, but what convinces dazai to invite him into the agency is almost certainly oda's dying wish- dazai invites atsushi because atsushi is an orphan, because he has nowhere to go and nowhere he belongs. because he is in need of a family.

when they invited yosano, she's completely traumatized and not able to use her ability in any way, and yet she's the first person they invite, despite being at her lowest, despite at the time having little to contribute in terms of strength and detective abilities nor the desire to, because she needed a family and they wanted her as a part of theirs

kyouka was a skilled assassin, but she's also an orphaned 14 year old girl with a kind heart who needed to be given the chance to turn her life around, who needed people around her who supported her and saw the good in her

and don't even get me started on dazai

given all this, its no wonder all the members of the ada are so fiercely protective of it

i was recently revisiting the bsd anime and during episode 1 kunikida says something like, "we're not some charity organization picking up orphans off the street" but like, they kinda are

[funkii4-blog]

I know I just made a super long negative post regarding the show’s current state but I wanna make a more positive one;

Everyone has of course taken note of this since it’s a good sign and is wondering who could get further explored next so I wanted to mention how this could work with who in the gang:

Mario: not necessary since he’s already the big central protagonist masco guy (idfk)

Meggy; extremely not necessary since she gets significant roles all the time and just had a ton of attention. I like to say she’s this show’s equivalent of “they’re my favorite oc so I’m gonna traumatize them the most”

4: not really necessary since he’s been so central this year unless they either take the chance to fix whatever weird shit they’ve been doing with him lately or further explore his internal character post-saga stuff (guilt over IGBP, etc)

3: well duh, the stuff with his struggling cafe and his insecurities as mentioned in trash friends needs to be revisited. I know a LOT of people that want that back

Tari: they started a development storyline for her over a year ago in western spaghetti that still hasn’t been revisited much of any; the closest we got was the Clench debut episode but we all know the controversy disaster that that episode caused… hopefully they’ll feel confident enough to use her more again after all that soon

Bob/Boopkins: I don’t really know what they’d do with them depth-wise tbh, sorry to fans of those two. I guess since Boopkins is basically a teenager now there could be stuff with him maturing a bit but since Bob is already the oldest in the gang that wouldn’t really work for him

Saiko & Kaizo: they have a band that was debuted 2 years ago that they forgot about

Karen: she was recently revealed to canonically be an ex-assassin before she had her kids so it has to be related to that imo

Melony: she’s been seen taking up creating manga of her own in honor of Axol since he was an artist before his death so more with that

Swag & Chris: I’LL TAKE LITERALLY ANYTHING AT THIS POINT THEY BARELY APPEAR ANYMORE AND THEYRE MY FAVS GLITCH PLEASE-

[aftgficrec]

Staff Recs - Christmas/Winter

We haven’t done a winter season roundup for a while, so this will be a multi-part post with short fics and more to come. Happiest of holidays to you and yours from the AFTG Fic Rec Fam!

NB: I came across several tumblr posts asking for help finding a fic with specific Christmas scenes, and the answer was ‘let them hear me shout (for you).’ So, you might want to check that out along with the rest of ‘on the tip of my tongue (say something)’ series if you haven’t read it or want to revisit an old favourite. It’s complete now, find it here. 

My personal favorite 5-snowflake fics from this collection are highlighted below and featured at the top of the recs. -A

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

‘We Can Live Forever’ by mostly_maudlin - A wintry high school au with healthy rivalries and pining. Best friends andreil are so woven together it’s a wonder no one has dubbed them with a ship name as Andrew helplessly pines. It’s snappy and full of family, foxes and developing relationships. If you don’t normally read fics where they’re teens, you may like this one.

‘The Monkey in the Wrench’ by Fire_Bear - A Die Hard au with bamf!neil protecting his family and reigniting old love feels like the Christmas fic we never knew we needed. Breaking my own rule of falling for a wip for this one.

‘Cerulean Nights’ by misalignedstars - kevjean shipper or not, the star crossed lovers/longing/yearning/regret subplot hurts so good. This may be the yearningest thing I’ve ever read.

❆ ❆ ❆ ❆ ❆

previous recs:

links to previous Staff Recs Christmas/Winter here

Staff Recs - New Year/New Beginnings here

seasonal ask: part 1 winter, part 2 Christmas

‘Your love is my drug’ here (completed)

‘The Missed Connections Support Group’ here

‘A Book for Christmas’ and ‘coffee & crosswords’ here

‘I'm just the same as I was’ here

‘Go Team!’ here

‘Pause and Restart my Heart’ series part 1 here 

‘Guardian Angel’ series here

‘permanent’ here

‘Paint Our Lives In Color’ here

‘A little closer to home’ here

‘Razor sharp smile and icy blue eyes’ here

‘Stop the World’ here

‘True Love Waits’ series here

‘In Time We'll Be Fine,’ ‘Breathing in the Snowflakes,’ and ‘the memory of burning’ here

‘Bedroom Voices’ here 

‘I Caught Fire’ here

‘this room, our universe’ here

‘Virus’ here

‘Andrew Minyard's Diary’ here

‘A Phantom and a Fly’ here

‘In Flanders Fields’ and ‘Front Lines’ here (historical, jewish neil)

‘Burning the skies’ here (fantasy)

‘RED, RISE, RULE’ here (fantasy)

‘Witching You A Happy Holiday’ here (fantasy)

‘Like a River’ here (harry potter)

‘A Falling Star’ series part 3 here (kerejean)

‘Promises’ here (kevaaron)

‘Mixed Feelings and Not Second Choices’ here (kevaaron)

‘Every Sinner Has A Future’ here (neil/aaron)

‘my one, my dear’ here (kevin/robin)

‘daydream in pink’ here (kev/allison)

‘All for the (wrong) game’ here (kevin/oc, recently updated)

We Can Live Forever by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 46706 Words, Complete, 2022]

PALMETTO HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETIC FUNDRAISER WINTER SERENADES - $5 EACH On sale Dec. 15-17 during lunch blocks. Support our teams, and let them show your friends how much you care through choreographed song and dance! Participation in the fundraiser is mandatory for all student-athletes. Maybe none of this would have happened if they weren't pushed out of their comfort zones. (But honestly, maybe it was always going to end this way.) A story about the joys of competition, the people in your corner, and, of course, the misfortune of being a teenager in love with your best friend.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: alcohol, tw: internalized homophobia

NB: includes fanart by @letraspal

The Monkey in the Wrench by Fire_Bear [Rated M, 9431 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 2024]

Despite his misgivings, Neil has agreed to attend his friends' work's Christmas party on the eve before Christmas Eve. His ex is going to be there, it's in a fancy building, and he's just come off a cross-country flight. There is nothing he wants to do less. It gets worse when an armed group invades the building and takes everyone hostage. Now Neil has to find a way to save everyone and stop the attackers from getting away with it.

tw: violence

Cerulean Nights by misalignedstars [Not Rated, 99742 Words, Complete, 2024]

Neil wasn’t exactly wrong about Ichirou Moriyama, but he also wasn’t exactly right: Ichirou is a shrewd businessman who cares little for Exy, that much is true. Unfortunately, he also likes using his assets to their full potential. Soon after being acquired by Ichirou Moriyama, Kevin finds himself on an errand to Japan with his former teammate, under the guise of a PR tour to distract the media and the public from his real mission. Old wounds rip open and old flames rekindle as Kevin and Jean are forced to navigate the Exy politics of an unknown land and survive the Japanese underworld at the same time. tldr: Ichirou Moriyama becomes the unwitting cupid for Kevin and Jean when he sends them on a PR tour as a front for conducting some secret yakuza business in the background.

tw: alcohol abuse/alcoholism, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: assault

I want to find a home (and I want to share it with you) by ofwhitedaisies [Rated T, 21526 Words, Complete, 2024]

The sun was peeking past the trees, its warm glow bathing the cafe with pretty yellows and oranges. Andrew stuck his ear-buds into his ears, and continued to work. Today would be quiet, he thought to himself. Good. Of course, as God hated Andrew, and peace was never an option, trouble arrived in the form of a boy in ratty orange converse and a lousy motorbike. ~ In which Andrew is a baker, Neil is a delivery man and Kevin just wants to play Exy.

tw: implied/referenced torture

Comfort Food by moonix [Rated T, 29241 Words, Complete, 2024, Locked]

Kevin has just retired from a prosperous Exy career and needs a personal chef, a new couch, and a hobby. Neil reluctantly provides.

wishes are real, not free by defractum [Rated T, 14611 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange 2016]

A Beauty and the Beast inspired AU in which Andrew's outer monster reflects his inner monster.

tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: dead animals, tw: hunger, tw: fire, tw: violence, tw: major character injury, tw: canonical character death

Family Affairs by KweenDay [Rated T, 21232 Words, Incomplete, Update Jan 2024, Locked]

Andrew meets Neil and Kevin in a group home when he's thirteen. They're an odd pair, with Neil's reckless outbursts and short fuse, and Kevin's stillness and sad, soulful eyes, and their fierce protectiveness of each other. Against all odds, Andrew befriends them. By the end of the second week, he knows he's found his people. By the end of the month, they make a promise to always find each other, no matter where they land. And they do. Every year, on Christmas Eve, they find each other and spend it together. AKA Andrew, Neil and Kevin make a promise to spend every Christmas together when they're kids. Those are their Christmases over the years.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced csa

Winter Woes series by thisonethatone [Rated M/E, Collection, Updated Feb 2024]

Part 1: The Way the Wind Blows [E, 15912 Words, Complete] ‘Who are you?’ ‘Who am I?’ He mocked with a loftily raised brow and faux bravado. ‘You are in My tower. Don’t you think I have the right to such bold questions?’ The boy simply raised a brow in return, his blade tracing a deadly path down to the hollow of his throat. ‘Yet I am not the one under a blade.’ His face morphed into something less deadly as amusement played across his features.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: death threats, tw: child abuse, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: major character injury

Part 2: Rabbit’s Foot, Snake’s Tongue [M, 4926 Words, Incomplete, Updated Feb 20204] Neil is snatched up by the Moriyama Empire and forcefully betrothed to their deranged youngest son, Andrew is mortally wounded and searching frantically for his lover, and Riko is always one step ahead.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: murder, tw: kidnapping

jewish neil

Spun a Dreidel With My Love by buriedinbaltimore [Not Rated, 14023 Words, Complete, AFTG Winter Exchange 2020]

Chapter 1 (Rated T): It’s 6.5 years after canon and the Foxes host a holiday party! Chapter 2 (Rated E): After the party, Andrew and Neil play strip dreidel and have dirty sex.

tw: explicit sexual content

kandreil, kevaaron, rarepairs

just pretend by orionauriga [Rated M, 23305 Words, Incomplete, Updated April 2023]

This was supposed to be a team bonding trip to rectify Kevin’s never-been-skiing claim — but with everyone else snowed out and him snowed in with the two people he’s spent months avoiding, evading, ignoring, it’s turning out to be an actual nightmare. Not that he’ll ever tell Neil and Andrew that. To make matters worse, he is (regrettably) sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit in love with them. Not that he’ll ever tell them that either.

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Kevin Day Hated Christmas by erosandhades [Rated T, 13340 Words, Complete, 2020]

Kevin Day hated Christmas and no one but himself, his dad and stepmother knew why, and that was the way he wanted things to be. But after an unexpected night and a situation that changes everything, Kevin wonders if maybe the future holds more than he thought possible.

tw: disordered eating, tw: claustrophobia, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced suicide, tw: implied/referenced child neglect, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/referenced torture

Fairy Lights by KweenDay [Rated M, 29637 Words, Complete, 2022, Locked]

Neil and Aaron are strangers who swap houses for the holidays, trying to avoid spending them with their families. Then Neil meets Aaron's more-than-a-little-interesting enigmatic brother. And Aaron meets Neil's more-than-a-little-infuriating incredibly attractive best friend. So much for peace, then. a.k.a The Holiday inspired Andreil/Kevaaron AU

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: implied/referenced torture

NB: Christmas Andreil from Fairy Lights art by @strokeofinspiration here

Royal Flush by OfficialStarsandGutters [Rated T, 29460 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Winter 2021]

Royalty AU for the AFTG Winter Exchange - Neil Josten is a thief; a shadow without a name, changing identities like people change clothes. Until he steals an invitation to the Royal Winter Games. The Daylands are hosting this year, and their sport is always the same: exy. Neil knows it’s a foolish risk, but he just wants the chance to play on an official court. Just once. He hadn’t factored in how crossing paths with King Andrew Minyard might change things.

tw: violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: murder, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm

Aaron Likes To Be Choked?! by Alluin_Fengari [Rated M, 46422 Words, Incomplete, Updated Nov 2024]

Aaron likes to think that his relationship with Katelyn is perfect. And while Aaron might not be perfect, Katelyn is, in Aaron's eyes anyways. But the question, "Does Aaron likes to be chocked??" Surges when his family over Christmas break notices the bruises in Aaron's neck. But at the same time, his family of monster being them do not think that it was something kinky, sadly, it appears that they are more correct than Aaron wants to ever admit.

tw: dubcon, tw: domestic abuse, tw: unhealthy relationship, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: victim blaming, tw: implied/referenced drug addiction, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced alcohol abuse, tw: panic attacks, tw: internalized homophobia

Two's a Crowd, and Three's a Party by rakshasaandcarcasses [Rated T, 11369 Words, Complete, 2024]

In the back of his mind, he was still considering what Jeremy had suggested. Aaron would rather be thrown down ten flights of stairs by Andrew personally than be stuck in between Matt and Jeremy right now. Jeremy, Aaron, and Matt go ice skating, and Aaron realizes something about the others and then about himself!!

Art

winter sweater for a fox art by @girubato

The big three: upperclassmen Christmas banquet art by @mioxza

Happy holidays ya filthy animals art by @emry-stars-art 

tfc winter mug series art by @jojen-hewitt: Neil | Andrew | Kevin | Jeremy | Jean | Renee

andreil mistletoe with betting foxes art by @andreil-minyasten

andreil Nice and Naughty Christmas sweaters art by @kkyraken

andreil New Year’s Eve kiss art by @thematicallycoherent

andreil at the Christmas market art by @ravenclawkward-art 

andreil at a cafe in England for the holidays art by @rainbowd00dles

andreil cozy christmas art by @/ohkitzinger on twitter

Please don’t go, I love you so and Merry Christmas art by @ouijacine

Christmas time!! art by @/amesfgc on twitter

andreil Christmas Redraw art by @/MASSLOW5 on twitter

All I want for Christmas is you art by @jayjuls

andreil: happy new year, christmas baking, decorating tree art by @/lis_photoart on instagram

[mmmmalo]

I haven't thought about homestuck in years but I began to reread it recently, and I remembered highly enjoying your analysis so I came to revisit, and I'm rather surprised by the turn it's taken. Genuine question to satisfy my own curiosity, how come your analysis shifted so heavily from possible trauma and teenage issues to homophobia, transgender readings of so many characters, and the grotesque?

First up, I'm moved that you thought of my blog when you revisited the story! Thank you for stopping by.

I think I would sum up the change as... various factors compelled me to reframe the way I approached paranoia in the comic? Like you said, I used to be all about character's individual psychologies: John with the fear of being judged, Jade with the latent hostility toward Grandpa, etc. But sometimes the fears were bigger than individuals. Homestuck cracked its first Obama joke in reference to Deep Impact, a movie about people for whom a black presidency is an event comparable to cataclysmic flooding. The poorly received Skainet Systems lore made a sly reference to racist birther conspiracies, asserting that Obama was born in another timeline instead of another country. Dirk lays out a story (which he outright states was gathered from conspiracy theorists) where a tyrant, who speaks a distinctly Black flavor of English, eventually floods the earth. Between instances like these, I eventually inferred that Homestuck itself takes place within a conspiracy theory -- and a self-consciously racist one at that -- which raised more specific questions about unreliable narration than Homestuck was already encouraging with its meta motifs.

At various points, characters make revealing Freudian slips -- Karkat summoned an image of Jade "making out with herself" when he was trying to critique what she was "making herself out to be", for instance. The pun revealed an embarrassing, private fixation. When I was still focused on character psychology, I had some luck finding Freudian slips that weren't openly teased, which provided further insight into the characters' psyches. After shifting into the conspiratorial mode, I eventually applied a similar idea to the story at large: if certain word choices in the narrative are designed to reflect proximity to certain societal hatreds, then finding them allows us to piece together the paranoid conspiracies about the hated groups in question, which structure the narrative. I whimsically dubbed this activity "Slurquest". The allusions to homophobia and transphobia found via this approach made it easier to spot the same motifs in individuals.

The recent turn towards "the grotesque" (by which I assume you mean porn jokes) basically amounts to me catching a fairly simple joke: why does Problem Sleuth combine a film projector with a contracting waste disposal pipe? Why are allusions to sun-blindness accompanied by torn up toilets? The answer is gay pornography, within its utility for shock: the old internet practice of linking people images of huge distended assholes, to their displeasure, for laughs. Terezi's sun-blindness is on some level a repetition of Hussie's old gag "the elf saw a picture of a penis and started to cry", with the red sun acting as an abstracted goatse -- this is why Dave, whose apartment is haunted by the Red Sun, is likewise haunted by Bro's gay pornography. This ongoing sun/ass symbolism makes it funnier when Dave uses the phrase "privy to what I flame broil below" to describe Terezi smelling his ass.

That's the short of it, at least

[flutishly]

The lull before the storm - revisiting the days before Hero's birthday, a decade later

Note: This post contains spoilers for Nothing Much to Do.

I'll admit, I haven't been keeping up with the NMTDaily in recent weeks. I'll watch the videos a couple weeks late, in chunks. It feels entirely unlike how I watched NMTD when it was originally released (obsessively, as the episodes came out; I never used subscriptions, so I'd check the channels directly pretty much every day), but entirely reflective of where my life is today, a decade later.

I'll be away this weekend, leading into the 10-year anniversary of Hero's 16th birthday and the radio silence that followed. I'll probably write more about the actual videos when the time comes (hey, remember when I spent hours micro-analyzing a tiny video only for the full-length scene to emerge within that same day? I should be embarrassed by that than I am), but for now I find myself thinking about how the tension ramps up and how the story of Much Ado About Nothing and NMTD's interpretation feels different in 2024 than it did in 2014.

There's a lot that at the time I feel I was less forgiving of, interestingly. Maybe it's because I'm older, but I find myself feeling sorrier for the boys this time around. Claudio's anxiety and self-consciousness feels more... forward. Pedro's need to people-please and "lead". Ben's intense need to be liked and appreciated. Ironically, even as their behavior seems even more "inappropriate" today, I can't help but feel that there's something about it that I better understand today.

Hero herself somehow feels more mature. There's something about watching with the retrospect of a decade that makes the coming punch hurt all the more. It's been long enough since my last rewatch that I'd forgotten so many smaller details, like the way the girls have their sleepover or the fact that Hero has her own charming relationship with the camera independently of Beatrice. (I'm not sure why I'd forgotten these moments specifically, but it's interesting! I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I always clicked with Bea more as a character, but in this rewatch I feel like I'm finally seeing the version of Hero that many of my friends from the NMTD era always saw.)

Hero seems more mature and Bea seems more childish. Ten years ago, Bea was just a few years younger than me; she was immature, but not so different from where I was in life. Now, both Bea and Hero feel like teenagers and I'm very much not a young adult anymore. I look at both of them and think how fragile they are, how much they're taking on themselves at such a young age (independence is wonderful, but do they have the love and support of a good adult mentor?). I think of Bea's discomfort talking about Ben and her fear of being hurt. I think of Hero's open love and trust. I think of how both will soon be heartbroken by the same event, in very different ways.

Hero's birthday is one of those plot points in the world of literary webseries. It's iconic for a reason. And I know that as things "unfold" this weekend (and are only revealed next week), I'm watching it from a very different place than a decade ago and with a completely different mindset. But I suspect that the sadness and anger I felt then will not be completely obliterated. I suspect that I'll still have a moment of anguish for Hero, for Bea, for shattered dreams and the end of innocence.

----

One final aside: I truly love the writing on NMTD. Time and again, I'm impressed by just how richly the characters are drawn, by what a beautiful job The Candlewasters did in translating a classic text and making it feel so very real. I feel so lucky to have experienced this show as it was released in 2014 and yet again lucky to watch it now.

[nitrateglow]

Spooky Season 2024: 23-31

House (dir. Nobuhiko Obayashi, 1977)

A teenage girl nicknamed Gorgeous and her friends travel to her aged aunt's house for the summer, not realizing the aunt is a people-devouring ghost and her house is one giant supernatural booby trap.

House reeks of the '70s with its psychedelic visuals and rock soundtrack, and yet it never feels "dated" to me. Okay, maybe I'm not the best person to judge that considering I binge nickelodeon-era one-reelers for fun, but House is so bizarre and uniquely its own weird thing that it transcends its original disco-era milieu. Beyond the goofball humor and erratic editing, House is concerned with the usual in gothic stories, mainly how past traumas linger on into the present (in this case, the aunt's grief over a fiance who went missing during WWII, and Gorgeous longing for her deceased mother).

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (dir. Don Siegel, 1956)

A small California town is overtaken by an alien species who replicate and replace the humans living there. Transformations result in soulless beings devoid of all emotion.

The original 1956 version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers is often boiled down to being a Red Scare allegory. Both of the times I've seen it, I feel it is so much richer than that. You could read it any number of ways and I think that openness to interpretation is what has made the story so ripe for retelling over the years.

While slightly overshadowed by the 1978 version these days, the 1956 adaptation remains a damn great horror movie in its own right. I usually don't care for the alien invasion movies of this period, but this one is genuinely chilling with a minimum of tension-spoiling cheese (not that I'm against cheese). The camera angles become more tilted as the situation grows more dangerous and the perspective more warped. The filmmaking hits harder because the earlier scenes are filmed in a blander, more straightforward way too. Good stuff.

The Sitter (dir. Fred Walton, 1977)

This creepy little short film take on the babysitter urban legend was later expanded into the feature When a Stranger Calls by its director Fred Walton. Aside from the opening 20 minutes, I find When a Stranger Calls a dull trek and so I tend to just revisit this tight little short film instead. However, it does lack Carol Kane... maybe I should just rewatch the opening of When a Stranger Calls every year?

Regardless, this is still an effective movie and worth seeing. You can find it free on YouTube.

Dracula (dir. Tod Browning, 1931)

Count Dracula-- a suave, mysterious nobleman who happens to be a bloodsucking member of the undead-- moves to modern England to snack on the populace.

Dracula is not my favorite of the Universal horror classics. Part of me sympathizes with its critics, who find the narrative clunky once it leaves Transylvania. I'm also not fond of Helen Chandler's rather vapid Mina-- not just because the book's Mina is a fabulous heroine and deserves better, but because the character herself seems little more than a breathing prop. Being slowly turned into a soulless, bloodsucking monster should be horrifying, but neither Chandler's performance nor the film hammers home that urgency.

Still, there is much to admire about Dracula. Its primitive qualities enhance the horror, particularly the lack of soundtrack and the sense of stillness in much of the blocking, Dwight Frye being a little freak extraordinaire, and Lugosi's performance. He truly appears uncanny, his deliberate speaking and gestures adding to the sense that Dracula exists outside of the present, that he should have been in the grave long ago. Few films capture that classic gothic atmosphere so well, the decay, the tattered decadence.

Wait Until Dark (dir. Terence Young, 1967)

When a shipment of heroin hidden in a doll is inadvertently brought into her possession, a recently blinded housewife named Susy Hendrix engages in battle of wits with a trio of dangerous criminals out to get the drugs back. Complications include: Susy not knowing where the doll is, the criminals turning on one another, and Susy having to work out her own psychological vulnerabilities. The conflict escalates to violence, especially when it becomes clear the criminal ringleader Harry Roat is willing to torture Susy just for his own entertainment.

I think anyone who follows this blog knows what I think of this film-- I adore it beyond all reason. I have written a lot about it (if you're interested, I recorded an entire commentary track for it two years ago), so I'm not going to repeat too much. It's a great one-location thriller with engaging characters, a slow-burn sinister tone, dark humor, and one of the best final confrontations between a hero and villain in movie history. It feels like a movie specifically designed to appeal to me. Come to experience Audrey Hepburn being badass, stay for evil beatnik Alan Arkin racking up a body count.

The Lighthouse (dir. Robert Eggers, 2019)

Two lighthouse keepers descend into madness when stranded on a remote New England island. Homoerotic tension, disintegration of identity, seagull's pooping in inconvenient places, mermaid sex fantasies, and lots of possible gaslighting ensue. And what of the mysterious light inside the lighthouse, an entity that seems to be almost supernatural in its pull?

I rewatched this with my youngest sister who usually doesn't like horror at all. We both had a really good time though! The film is undeniably creepy, but there's a lot of dark humor present too. It doesn't take the edge off the chilling scenes, but it does prevent the experience from getting too grim, I think. Of Eggers' current filmography, it's definitely the closest to being a comedy, if only because Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe have a sinister odd couple dynamic.

A Page of Madness (dir. Teinosuke Kinugasa, 1926)

When his wife is committed to an asylum, an old man takes a janitor job at the institution. The wife's mental condition strains his relationship with his daughter and future son-in-law, and then the janitor's own mind begins to lose track of the line between delusion and reality. Trippiness ensues.

I first saw this film on TCM in the middle of the night, which may be the ideal way to view this surrealistic silent classic. It was designed to be experimental compared to conventional Japanese movies of the time. There are no intertitles at all, so following the story can be confusing, even before the protagonist starts to lose control of his perceptions. However, it's like nothing else and worth seeing for those who want a movie that marries 1920s surrealism with expressionistic dread.

The Phantom of the Opera (dir. Rupert Julian, 1925)

A mysterious "Phantom" is haunting the Paris Opera, blackmailing, bribing, and even murdering to make sure Christine Daae, an aspiring singer and the object of his obsession, will be the ultimate prima donna.

The Lon Chaney POTO is a weirdly nostalgic watch. I was obsessed with it as a teenager and watched it often. I still adore it. Chaney's performance is nothing short of brilliant and the gothic sets remain spectacular. I love Chaney!Erik's lair and the sense of size it has.

SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING

I used to dislike the ending to this version, where Erik is unredeemed and there's a big chase through the Paris streets. While I would have preferred the ending as originally filmed, in which Erik releases Christine and dies of a broken heart, I admire the direction of that last chase and Erik's final, memorable gesture of contempt to the mob about to claim his life. It's perfection.

Castle of Otranto (dir. Jan Svankmajer, 1977)

Maybe counting this as "horror" is a stretch. It's an odd beat of a short regardless. It's framed as a mockumentary in which an academic argues that the events of the seminal gothic novel The Castle of Otranto really happened, but not in Italy (as in the original text), but in Czechoslavakia. This mockumentary is intercut with animated segments depicting key episodes from the novel, such as an oversized helmet falling from the sky to crush the villain's heir to death (yes, that actually happens) and all the quasi-incestuous drama between the characters.

Most reviewers come to this film because they're fans of the director Jan Svankmajer. They know nothing about The Castle of Otranto. I'm the opposite: I know nothing about Svankmajer, but I have read the gothic lunacy that is Otranto. I enjoyed seeing it adapted in some form and the metafictional elements of this short ape similar conventions throughout gothic literature in general, only in a very '70s way.

[teeth-cable]

Im the CSA victim from UniformedArtists blog and I agree with you 1000% dropping everything Vivziepop.

Like I only watch Helluva even after the shit she's done to see how far it would sink but jesus christ.

You know her just saying the counselor is 18-19 isn't fucking good enough because the show says a different thing.

Like before people bring up the argument counselors can be adults... Most TV shows in media actually have minor counselors and we know Vivziepop doesn't research shit about hell or actual royalty so why the fuck am I supposed to believe Adam or her researched counselor age ranges.

Also nobody should have a twitter to figure out if you did or didn't make a grooming subplot.

You know in Curse of Strahd there's a controversial character Gertruda who 50 (500) year old Strahd is implied to planning take as another bride because of where you find her and in the book it states she's recently a teenager. However as much as I hate this plot line due to trauma I understand why it was added because WOTC portrays Strahd as a piece of shit. Like his goal is to chase down the reincarnation of his brother's fiance throughout time until he catches her, makes her a vampire and possibly brainwash/assault her to make her love him. Strahd is meant to be a gross creep. I as a DM and many other age Gertruda up to 18 because we don't want a pedo plot line and it keeps the predatory nature of Strahd intact.

Barbie seems to be portrayed in a significantly more positive light and her grooming behavior is never called out as a bad thing. Like Moxxie should say something at god damn least since he has morals.

There are so many things wrong with the EP. What gets me is writing has multiple stages, first the person needs to come up with the EP pitch, get the directer or network's approval, finish the first draft, then revisit it for grammar mistakes and continuity, then revise it a few more times for a stronger script, and send it to the directer or network again to approve of filming the finish script and that's not even counting how long animation takes too. So during the process of writing to animating, did no one at SpindleHorse see how weird and problematic the script was? The camp for pre-teens is called, "IWannaKumMore"(Their logo being a cum splat), Millie and Moxxie's human backstories of being siblings then making out at the end was unnecessary because they could have just been good friends whose mothers sent them to the same camp, Moxxie this grown ass adult who pretending to be a pre-teen is acting sexual and wants the kids attention, Millie who everyone else thinks is a young boy is getting sent nudes from kids and adults, and Barbie saying how easy teenagers are to manipulate then flash her ass to a boy is implying she grooms kids.

To be clear, I don't have a problem when a dark comedy make these types of jokes as all as they portray the topics and groomers as bad and show they understand that. SpindleHorse did not, like you mentioned they portrayed Barbie in the positive light and Moxxie never calls out her behavior despite being the voice of reason. In fact the tone of the Barbie's scene was supposed to funny but not in a dark ironic way. I don't understand why the camp couldn't be for college students and the consolers are stated and look like actual adults. Everything about the canon camp is childish and filled with teenagers, it's very uncomfortable to see them in sexual situations. In America the youngest a camp counselor can be is 15 y/o but that changes from states to states so no body has a clue, also with the camp counselor having a pitch voice, Barbie referring to him as kid and teenager and him, not once trying to correct her about his actual age, I'm convinced he was kid but Viv had to age him up for damage control.

I'm sorry if this response is all over the place because I'm having trouble describing my thoughts but the writers are in their 30s, and they saw nothing wrong? The writing for HB has been going down for a while now and it was fun to see how the writing could get worse but never in my years of watching awful shows did the writing get so bad, the writers had to resort to terrible jokes about sexualizing teenagers, making an incest joke, and a minor getting groomed unironically. I can't support a person or company that are fine making content like that.

"Unhappy Teenagers" was the first time, I have watched a show and felt a sinking feeling in my gut so much so it still lingers even a day later. I never felt so sick from watching a show and I'm sorry writers and companies think making this type of content and jokes of your trauma and abused experience is okay to do.

[steelycunt]

hello my darling fun little ask game going around…

“Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤”

would u like 2 talk abt some of ur fics…to me…

hello my love...im blushing...i do not really have very many to choose from so there'll be no deep cuts here but anything for you...tucking them all under the cut nice and snug..

lunch poems (5k) which is my most recent fic from like. ten days ago which i wrote as part of the mwpp project...very different from my usual thing but my prompt was a bookshop meetcute and it was fun writing about books and brighton's pebble beach and twister lollies and little red short shorts 💌

the son and heir of nothing in particular (23.7k) my love letter 2 r in all his freaky self-obsessed hopeless martyrdom and teenage grief...and also to national express coaches...so much fun 2 write and to fill with superfluous and trivial details that were for My personal enjoyment...loved 2 write s from his pov he is one of my favourite versions of him that ive written i think he turned out so fun and cool and pretty and just a tad embarrassing still..

and only felt good while moving (17.2k) until recently my only au...for a fest where my prompt was 'my pal'...remains one of my personal favourites despite how comparatively low the stakes are i think this is probably still the most feverish and insane ive ever managed to write them!! s in particular he's fucking rabid. lots of fun sweltering london heat and grossness...and of course i love a sad ending...

of witness testimony (16.7k) umm this one is quite old now so possible quite clunky idk i cant bear to revisit any of them once they reach a certain age but. probably one of my favourites in terms of premise this is my peter-pov prank fic...him watching s fall quite furiously in love with r over the years and all its little consequences for them...writing r/s from an outsiders perspective is soooo much fun i would love to do it again with james some day

on the issue of fever and delight (12.1k) my r-pov post-prank fic...where a few weeks after it happens when they are still not talking r/s find themselves locked alone in detention together for the evening....r kills himself before during and after about twenty million times...s grovels and is not very good at it...everyone else is tired...also has one of my favourite scenes ive ever written in it so thats fun : ^ )

thank you for dropping in my love!! this was fun 🌚🌚

[windsweptinred]

Shipper tag game

Thank you for the tag @marvagon, you glorious human 💖💖💖.

What ship were you completely obsessed with as a teenager, but now you don't care about anymore?

None. I may not be as passionate about them as I once was. But I still hold all my past ships near and dear to my heart. I'll even occasionally nip into their tags on A03 and have a dip into newer fics.

What ship would you consider your first one?

Daiken/Kensuke from Digimon 02. I remember watching it on Saturday morning and wondering if anyone else was seeing what I was seeing. That led me to discover Fanfiction.net. And the rest is history...

Your first fanfic was about which couple?

My very first full length fic was Corinthiel, posted here on Tumblr. My first fic posted on AO3 was Dreamling, and I wrote both last year. I am a very, very, very late comer to fanfic 😅. I'm honestly much more at home drawing fanart then writing. But will occasionally give into temptation, when an idea obbsessively hounds me to the point of insanity.

Do you remember the first couple you saw fan art of?

I genuinely can't. 😅 I remember it was probably on deviantart.

Have you ever gotten into ship discourse?

I try desperately to stay out of ship discourse. To me people's ships are their joy... And I've got no interest in being a theif of joy. If there's something I want to see more of in the fandom, like a rare pair I'm fond of, I just try and create content and hope someone else joins in (@bobbole loves you 💚🤍😅) . If it's not for me, I just keep scrolling on by.

Did you use to have any NOTP or have one currently?

Again, no. I've always been happy to pick and mix my ships. I have my favorites ofcourse. But I've never outright refused to dip my toe into any ship. Maybe if it ventured into an area I personally deemed problematic. But mostly, I'm happy to try anything once.

Who were the last couple in the last fanfic you read?

I'm currently reading Remy Lebeau x Logan fanfic from Xmen. 😅 What sent me in that direction, I do not know. But I've found some amazing new fics in and amongst revisiting some old favourites.

Currently, do you have any OTPs?

I can proudly say until recently I've never had an OTP. Being a multishipper makes that kind of hard. But I don't know, I may be in too deep with Corinthiel. I'm not sure I could picture Danny and the Second Corinthian with anyone else but each other now. (Curse you @ibrithir-was-here. See what you have wraught! 😆). Them and Charmes (Charon x Hermes) from Hades. Because why would you split up the professional associates like that?! (Again very much your fault @mashumaru 😆) , Damn, I guess I've got OTPs now. If there's an established, happy couple in canon, most of the time I'll respect that and leave them be. So I guess that kind of counts too.

Is there any couple that, to this day, that you are extremely mad about not getting into?

Again no. If the juggernaut ship of a fandom doesn't really tickle my fancy, I'll sometimes stare forlornly at it. And sigh like a sad bohemian poet. But that's all content envy and I know it. 😆

Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they're kind of interesting?

🤔 I didn't dislike it, but I never really ventured near Corintheus until I started shipping Corinthiel. That made me backtrack and consider Morpheus and the original Corinthian's relationship from an entirely different perspective.

Do you have any ship that, in the past, would have been considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

No I don't think so. As far as know they're all still alive, well and for the most part, living in peace and harmony in their respective fandoms.

What is your favorite crack ship?

Bookend, Destiny and his Book. The old book and chain. Living their best, grumpy old married couple, life together. @jazzy-a 🤜🤛🤣.

What is the couple you read the most fanfics about?

Most recently was Dreamling. I'm a bit of fandom butterfly at the moment, fluttering between multiple fandoms, waiting for the next all consuming passion to strike me down. I read, and reread ANYTHING Corinthiel 😅. But of all time?..... I couldn't say. I revisit so many of my ships so often.

What do most of your ships have in common?

Two bastards in love will always be my favourite. I'd love to boldly claim it's all about two morally dubious rogues, being despicable in the kinkiest ways together. 😅 But I know it's more about two people, often misunderstood and maligned... Finding a deep sense of belonging with each other. But I'm an eclectic sort and I've got a lot ships that don't fit that category I still love dearly.

What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Absolutely nothing outright. I'll sometimes go off a ship a little once it reaches that point where fanon locks in too tight around it. But I think that's a very me problem, as I crave variation/new experiences/ideas. I'll still love the ship, I'll just know that's just my time to move onto something new and come back and visit every so often.

I'm tagging @martybaker @thelostkelpie @missingrache @thirrith @zigzag-wanderer @lucienne-thee-librarian and @tickldpnk8 and anyone mentioned above. If you want to have a go. 😁

[gxbtx]

How Tyler, The Creator Continues to Infiltrate our Childhoods and Hearts

Austin, Tx, October 7th

Three years ago I attended Austin City Limits for the first time in my life. ACL was a tradition with my parents semi-annually growing up, with some of my earliest memories seeing The Eagles at Zilker park around age four. In 2021, there was an undeniable plethora of great artists, such as Miley Cyrus, 070 Shake, Greta Van Fleet, and Tyler, The Creator. ACL in 2021 was one of my first musical experiences as a teenager that I genuinely connected with, leaving a lasting impact on how I spend my time and money.

Tyler was an eye-opening experience to what a live setting of music has to offer. Tyler’s energy and dedication to his craft was shown on the grand Ladybird Stage with an extension of his Call Me If You Get Lost tour. Tyler played several tracks of Call Me If You Get Lost to perfectly pair with his stage props of expensive trunks and a speedboat. It was an honor to be properly introduced to his most recent album, as I didn’t fully understand the emphasized hip-hop elements near and dear to Tyler that made it such a great project. Tyler’s presentation of luxury and success leave him in a clear position to convey his lack of care to others who may have doubted his ability, which is heard throughout his boastful yet admirable confidence in CMIYGL. Even with the hundreds of thousands of people cheering him on he still managed to get away with poking fun at many demographics of his audience, with his charm and fame making the remarks go right over their heads.

A crucial aspect of the musicianship and the importance of performance was found in my first pit experience. Tyler’s shows are so great because he considers the live performance a core aspect of how he intends his music to be perceived. Such as one of his favorites, “NEW MAGIC WAND” from IGOR, the song took a few years to catch mainstream attention as he specifically curated the song to be enjoyed in a pit experience. Additionally, being so close to the artists removes the awkward unspoken barriers with others surrounding, connecting sweaty people together through the common denominator of love for his songs. Rarely do I see so many people singing the same songs with so much heart and passion, one after the other, representing the impact Tyler has on my generation. Ever since seeing Tyler up close, I’ve come to understand and appreciate the aspect of supporting musicians by going to Live shows, giving them a chance to present their life’s work to the audience the way they intend.

With all of this in mind, you could imagine my excitement to revisit Tyler’s catalog at the same stage three years later. Nearing the end of my teenage years, seeing Tyler for a second time brought me a sense of nuanced conceptualization of how Tyler has brought super star status to his career. Tyler started off his desert themed set with some bars unfamiliar to the crowd, ‘“what’s that gun name,” showing me Tyler’s contribution to the alive and well hip-hop resurgence within the past year. He returned with his classic stage presence utilizing his last decade of experience to show how a true professional does a festival set. At this point of his career, he was able to turn his numerous hits into a fresh DJ set in a sense, showing refinement and improvement from one track to the next. Along with this he brought his same moshing and intense energy to the pit that was insulting yet funny years prior. It was humorous to again see individuals who were not ready for the chaotic running around and moshing, with many people remaining from the previous set of Chappell Roan. He joked that he’s now at the age (~30) where something aches, reminding the crowd that he’s been himself in the public eye for the past 14 years or so, cementing him as an integral part in our generation’s music taste.

I really enjoyed seeing Tyler again as he serves as a subtle reminder that despite the ever increasing subdivisions of internet culture, there are still huge artists bringing entire generations of people together. I genuinely at this point in my life feel like I’ve grown up listening to Tyler, which can be said for millions of fans around the country. It feels full circle that my sibling is now eagerly awaiting the new Tyler project coming out soon, illustrating the recurring theme of the obsession with Tyler’s experiences he creates in music. Revisiting the screaming crowds hashing out every lyric in some of his most influential songs is a testament to the power music has, as Tyler’s anti-hero persona towards his fans who treat him like messiah himself still manages to bring out hundreds of thousands diverse souls to flock to what he has to show. His hard work and envelopment of becoming a music nerd is something I think is so inspiring, to me and others alike, fostering the energy to keep creativity alive and well.

[just-the-mage]

Revisiting The Matrix

So I recently rewatched the Matrix with my girlfriend. Fantastic movie of course, but I was struck by several things that I missed or wasn’t aware of when I first watched it as a teenage egg, fully unaware of who I would end up as a decade or so in the future. I’m bored at work right now so…why not talk about it?

First of all, the biggest thing I noticed that I had completely missed, and that I don’t see many people explicitly talking about, was the subject of memories and past experiences in the matrix feeling ‘not real’ after having escaped it and learned the truth. Everyone talks about the red pill and its correlation with estrogen pills in the 90s but nobody mentions how it feels to have memories that don’t really feel like they’re yours anymore. Lana and Lily Wachowski may have been closeted when the movie was released but they somehow managed to capture the idea of living in a body that, for all intents and purposes, hasn’t been yours for most of your life. It feels odd looking back on my own memories most of the time, and considering that I’ve only really been ‘me’ for a few years. I may have memories sat in my head of being in middle school, or of my first time driving a car, or of looking up IGN game guides on dial up internet, but it feels like since then I’ve changed so thoroughly that the memories don’t belong to me anymore. They belong to someone who died a few years back. Someone who was immutably changed by an event that woke them up-so much so that the false persona, the virtual life led by someone whose body I now inhabit, my self who was trapped in the matrix-was gone forever.

There’s a dissonance to it, trying to view memories from that past. Like looking into a translucent glass box, one that obviously used to house something, but which is now empty, full of furnishings and personal touches that I recognize, but don’t necessarily want to pull out, or experience anymore. I can go to the same places I went when I wasn’t me yet, but it’s almost like I’m looking at it with new eyes. Like the past I experienced there wasn’t quite real. Because I wasn’t there.

A lot of people might call that sad-or think of it as such. A whole section of life just missing, in a way. A massive chunk of my life, in fact. I’ll be an old woman before I’ve been myself for longer than I was someone else. But I think it’s happy, too. It’s like shedding one’s skin, but more dramatic. Casting off not only an outer shell, but an inner one as well. The end of the person I used to be means the beginning of the person I am now. It paves the way for new memories, a new understanding of the world as I can see it today. My own personal trip to the last human city in the world of the Matrix-Zion. The air I breathe here may be thick with pollution; the oppression of a greater power may still hold me under its thumb, violence may be horribly pervasive in a world that is terrifying for so many reasons, but its real. In its own way it's beautiful.

After so many years trying to unplug myself from the illusion I had trapped myself in, I’m free.

[snackara]

A Million Dreams Are Keeping Me Awake (Mageborns Prequel)

They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy They can say, they can say we’ve lost our minds I don’t care, I don’t care if they call us crazy Runaway to a world that we design

Clara found Atticus on the rooftop. He was lying against a short brick wall, staring up at the stars above with his hands behind his head. He didn’t notice Clara approaching him until she spoke.

“What are you doing up here?” she asked, sitting beside him and adjusting her skirt.

“I’m just trying to clear my head,” Atticus replied, not looking away from the sky. “Are you sure your parents are okay with letting us stay here? I don’t want either of us to be a burden on them.”

“Oh, nonsense. You and Will are welcome to stay as long as you need to,” Clara said.

There was silence for a few minutes as they stared up at the stars. Finally Clara spoke up again. “So, what are your plans going forward?”

Atticus shrugged, sitting up. “Find a job to make ends meet until Will graduates and gets his own job. Then maybe I can go off and work with dragons like I’ve always wanted to.”

Clara nodded, resting her chin on her knees. “Dragons, huh? Sounds kind of…” she hesitated, trying to find the right word.

“Foolish? Halfwitted? Idiotic?” Atticus finished for her, a faint trace of a smile on his lips.

“I was going to say dangerous, but I suppose that works too,” Clara said. Atticus didn’t seem offended by this comment. Clara and him were good enough friends that little joking jabs like that were normal. “I mean, they’re dragons Atticus. They’re big fire-breathing beasts that do more harm than good.”

Atticus pointed a finger at Clara. “And that’s why I want to work with them. To prove that sort of thinking wrong.” He added as he saw Clara’s brows furrow in confusion. “They’re not monsters, they’re animals. And I want to show people that. I want to show other mages they shouldn’t be feared or hunted, but respected. Not just dragons either. Drakes, Lindwurms, Wyverns, all the animals that fall under draconology. If I just study them and educate myself enough, I can educate others and change their minds about dragons.”

Clara sat in silence for a moment, a little stunned by Atticus’s sudden burst of passion. “You’ve been thinking about this for a long while, haven’t you?”

“Of course,” Atticus beamed. “It’s one of those dreams that keeps me up at night. I want to leave the world better then I found it, and I think becoming a draconologist is the best shot I have at doing so.”

“Well, I know you will. And hey, maybe if that doesn’t work out you can come be a professor with me,” Clara said.

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Atticus said softly.

The two stared at each other for a few minutes. It was moments like these that made Clara wonder if Atticus liked her as more than just a friend. That warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. The way he seemed so much more comfortable around her than he did most people. How he smiled at her. But she thought if he did feel that way, he would have said something by now. She certainly wouldn’t mind if he did…

Clara cleared her throat and stood up, brushing herself off. “We should go back inside and get some sleep. Especially you.”

“I suppose so,” Atticus stood up and walked towards the door that led into the apartments. Clara followed quietly. She really hoped Atticus could become a draconologist one day. Perhaps even settle down with a nice lady and raise a family of his own. After the things he had endured for seventeen years, he deserved it.

But as Clara would come to discover years later, fate had different plans.

Author Notes

So yeah, I’ve recently been revisiting The Greatest Showman soundtrack and this particular song has become stuck in my head. I thought the first part fit child Atticus very well. But the rest of the song didn’t fit adult Atticus very well, especially the random woman. But when I thought of TEENAGE Atticus however, it lined up a lot better. So I got some inspiration to write a quick scene about him and Clara. I think the reprise of this song fits very well, but for very different, much sadder reasons down the line.

This takes place the day Atticus and Will left their abusive aunt. It was a very impulsive decision, thus they didn’t have anywhere to go. Except for Atticus’s one friend Clara’s home. Thankfully her parents were very kind and empathetic, especially after hearing their story.

I wanted to really show off how Atticus was before Will died and he was branded as a traitor. He had seen a lot, but he tried to not let that affect him. He remained really optimistic and kind, if not still very shy and reserved. He wanted to make the world a better place, even if he was seen as stupid for it. He’s a good person at heart. But that heart has been broken so many times, it’s hard to see.

Also I thought Clara thinking Atticus had a crush on her would be funny. Like no honey, he gay. You’re just the person he feels safest around besides Will.

And scene. Hope you enjoyed this snippet between my characters. It’s very rough, but I thought it was cute and just had to write it down. Might come back and polish or add to it later.

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Comeback Celebration: Current Top Ten Sunmi Songs

I noticed, while I was working on this, that I talk about Sunmi the way orbits talk about Loona--I think you'll see what I mean as we go down the list! I think it's the admiration I have for how creative & well-crafted her releases are. "Heroine" was the song that got me into Sunmi, though her most recent comeback at the time was "Lalalay" (I remember because the ponytail dance was EVERYWHERE). My admiration was secured after her 1/6 album--even though her discography is still small, I think that album really fleshed it out, to the point where I finally felt like I could understand her as an artist. Happy Sunmi comeback to us all!

1. pporappippam

This is my "Butterfly". I remember when this song came out, I remember when it changed the world, it's all things divine, it's my conduit to a romanticized version of my teenage years, it's a supercut of all the most wonderful colors you've ever seen in the sky at sunset. In all seriousness, though--I really don't get how people find this song boring. It manages to be a soft, ethereal track and an addictive pop hit, a perfect balance of peaceful atmospherics and unrelenting pace. This one is really special to me!

2. 1/6

This is my "Loonatic". I got dream pop with this song--okay, "1/6" might not exactly be dream pop, but it's soft and dreamy in a way that made me finally see the appeal of that type of song, like why someone would want to get lost in that hazy sonic world.

3. Siren

"Siren" is a piano crashing into you from a third-story window. Like, I don't know how it's ever possible to be emotionally ready for this song. Its brute-force approach is just so goddamn memorable, especially because Sunmi doesn't overuse it in the rest of her discography--she usually goes for subtlety, but her vocals carry a powerful chorus like this one just so well.

4. Narcissism

This one's also in the brute-force category, especially because the production takes this really messy, maximalist approach--and fuck it, it works. I love this song a whole lot: the soft intro; the weird schoolbell-through-intercom-static sounds; the way the chorus hits; the way Sunmi navigates the song's rapid rises and falls. If you miss old-school EDM (read: if you obsess over Dreamcatcher's "Can't get you out of my mind" like I do), I think you'll really enjoy this one.

5. Call

Yeah, no surprise here, I always love club music. But this club classic is particularly intricate, built on a really interesting contrast: Sunmi's gritty vocals over an exceptionally pristine house beat.

6. Black Pearl

This song is just cool. Like, that saxophone solo is just really, really cool. Like, I want to be a guy who has this song at the top of his most-listened list. Maybe one day!

7. Heroine

Yeah, the beat drop is kind of wimpy, so that part didn't age all that great. But Sunmi's PERFORMANCE here?? That prechorus is one for the ages. Five years ago, the emotion of this song absolutely captivated me, and it still resonates with me today.

8. Lalalay

In contrast, this one aged wonderfully! Now that I'm not being constantly overloaded with beat drops in every other song (thank you, 2019 Twice & 2021 Olivia Rodrigo!), I can really appreciate how interesting "Lalalay" is! I used to think this one was boring and lacking inspiration, but now that I'm revisiting it, I think the dynamics of the chorus are pretty compelling (yes, I think the beat drop is compelling, sue me)--like, do you hear how the weird note thingie is fading in and out? how the volume shifts? I love it so much!! My favorite part is the bridge, though--the flight attendant bit remains iconic, and the segue into the final chorus is breathtaking.

9. Heart Burn

This will forever remind me of a song from my childhood--the melody of the chorus is vaguely reminiscent of Taylor Dayne's "Tell It to My Heart", which my mom used to play in the car--so this song hits unfairly hard for me. Like, it's already a reserved, mysterious summer hit, but to me it sounds like a half-formed image of your old living room, or the voice of an elementary-school friend whose name you can't quite recall speaking from the void. Cloudy, surreal, a bit unsettling, but altogether sweet. Also, the color scheme of this music video is super striking, so "Heart Burn", despite its simplicity, gets a LOT of bias points from me.

10. What the Flower

This is like the evil twin of Red Velvet's "Good, Bad, Ugly". They both go for the lounge-singer vibe, but Red Velvet have really pure, sweet-sounding vocals, while Sunmi's voice, and her work as a whole, have always been very savory (like, anti-saccharine?). Both songs are great, and I especially love how both allow for some wonderful piano appreciation (shoutout to the guitar in "What the Flower", too!). The singalong bit at the end of "What the Flower" is really striking, so this one has stuck around in my head over the years, even before I could really appreciate its quieter sections.

Honorable Mentions: 24 Hours (obligatory), Who am I, Curve (also obligatory), Tail (Sunmi's charisma wins this one), Call my name

[meggie-stardust]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to the ever lovely @lucky-bishop for the tag! <3

How many works do you have on ao3?

74! Which feels both like a lot and not that much at the same time.

What's your total ao3 word count?

270,119?!

What fandoms do you write for?

Right now primarily Teen Wolf and I recently revisited my first fandom of Gundam Wing. I've also written a ton for BBC Merlin, Percy Jackson/Heroes Of Olympus, BBC Sherlock, Harry Potter, Newsies and random other things...

Top five fics by kudos:

Act of Man | BBC Merlin | Arthur/Merlin

Nightmares | PJO/HoO | Percy/Jason

Looking for the Thing We Lost | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

Here I Am (Stuck in the Middle With You) | PJO/HoH | Percy/Jason

Know How A Man Becomes a Beast | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

Do you respond to comments?

Yes, on all of my stuff from the past few years. There are older fics that I've opted not to respond to comments on for varying reasons, but I do read them all.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

When I have angst, I like to have it with a happy ending, but I would probably say this fliclette I wrote based on the prompt: "Can you do a Jasercy fic where Jason is trying to comprehend the fact that Percy's gone, preferably death, but it doesn't have to be."

A Slow Deep Panic | PJO/HoO | Jason/Percy

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I really like the end of Stuck Between Stations. After putting Stiles and Peter in the Wild Hunt and in time loop, the least I could do was give them a happy ending.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, but I have gotten weird comments. I usually just ignore if they are just odd, but I have also deleted comments that are boarding on hate.

Do you write smut?

Yep!

Craziest crossover:

Aside from one HP/Sherlock fic that was co-written with my bestie and that we both abandoned, I don't really do long form crossovers (and that one wasn't crazy anyway). That said, there was a tumblr prompt game years ago, that was for 3 sentence fics and almost every prompt I got was a crazy crossover:

Dean and Castiel. Fight Club

MJN crew (bonus points for including Herc Shipwright). Supernatural hunters.

Sherlock/John. Teenagers working at Mooby's (View Askewniverse).

Jack/Spot, Night Vale AU.

Arthur and Eames. Exorcism.

You can read all of these and a few others: 3 Sentence Fic Collection. And actually, this was a fun trend, we should bring it back.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, and knock on wood it never happens.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A few actually, and it's always so, so, so flattering:

Acts of Man was translated into Chinese

Black Sails in the Sunset was translated into Português

Looking for the Thing We Lost was translated into Russian

This is a perfect time to say that I am always open to my fics being translated, podficced, remixed, etc. Just let me know so I can gush about it!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, the aforementioned abandoned HP/Sherlock fic, but it's been ages. @punchedbymarkesmith and I have kicked around some collab ideas, which I think would both be a blast and also for a potentially niche audience. Maybe 2024 is the year this happens!

All time favourite ship?

Steter is the one I've stuck with the longest, but I do have a few that I will always return to in the same way you might eat a comfort meal.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Look, I really, really want to finish It's Only Forever. I have like 1, maybe 2 chapters left. But it's been so long and I feel like my writing has changed, and idk. Every year I say I'm going to work on it, and every year I don't... le sigh.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at finding a small moment in canon and then diverging from that. I also think I'm good at authentic dialogue and I think I'm pretty good at world building.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Action/fighting. Keeping things short unless it's a drabble/other restrictive format.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I am not fluent enough in any language other than English to do this confidently. Instead, I would write something like:

Stiles cursed at them wildly in Polish.

or

Peter responded in French, then turned back to Stiles and resumed their conversation in English.

First fandom you wrote in?

Gundam Wing. All of my old fic from *cough* 20+ years ago is lost to the annals of time (actually some is still on archived GW 1x2 sites if you look hard enough). And if you are one of like 7 people who remember my username, you can find my Newsies and Harry Potter fic (my next two fandoms) still on ffn. After I got out of a bad relationship that kept me from my own interests, including fandom, I returned with BBC Sherlock fic, which you can still find on AO3 if you scroll to the beginning of my profile.

Favorite fic you've written?

Gosh, I feel like this changes all the time, but I am particularly proud of At This Truth We Have Arrived. I loved exploring certain aspects of Peter's character, and doing a different take on Nogistune Stiles. I was also able to incorporate a lot of different themes and elements into it, as well as get my own closure with Monroe, something that has bugged me since the finale. Plus, I think I was able to accomplish a reveal that would add extra elements if anyone went back and re-read the story (even if I somewhat show my hand if anyone paid attention to the epigraph).

I have no idea who has done this yet, since I sat on this for a bit... so no pressure tags for @lolahardy @mirrorthoughts @myletternevercame @punchedbymarkesmith @midmorning-bomb @like-lazarus